I am sitting here in my workout clothes watching The Biggest Loser. I am having some mixed feelings as I watch it. I don't know about you but I am really connecting with these people.
I am especially connecting with Victoria and Andrea. I don't feel like I am worth it to lose weight, to be happy, to be successful, or to have friends. I feel like my family deserves a better person, a more beautiful person than me.
As the contestants were mentioning these things they really hit me....straight in the heart. I have tried to hide those feelings and mask them...hence why I am where I am. It sucks and I am still working on figuring out how to deal with these feelings and where to vent my frustrations, stresses, and all my emotions. Instead of eating them away or just holding them in I need to find a more constructive way to get them out so I don't implode.
I guess you could take this as a cry for help or just complaining. I thought I would share my feelings about what was said on the BL.
I want to be proud of myself and I want my family to be proud of me. I want to have friends!
There are alot of things I need to work through and I think these things are the weights holding me back from being happy, healthy, and allowing the thin me to shine.
Be the best you can be!
(I guess I should take my own advice!)
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Sara, You are beautiful! I remember always thinking this about you-inside and out! Your smiling face and caring for everyone around you inspires not only me, but those you reach! You're truly a special person and you can do anything! Keep smiling and remember who you are and that you are loved!
ReplyDeleteShelly
Sara, the first step to any change in our life is recognizing the need for change. You've not only done that, but you've taken the steps to make that change, and I'm impressed! You are an inspiration to me to change some of the habits I need to change, too. Love you girl! :)
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